I wish I could teleport
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
