bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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