I like my sex mixed with concussions.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
