Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
