Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
