dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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