Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
