watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize