yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
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I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
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I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I did not marry a roomba.
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