I cockslap morals
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
