The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
She bit a glass in half.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Drake has all the answers
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
