I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
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