I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
if only i could text you this smell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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