OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
