I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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