she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
