So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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