I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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