I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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