this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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