Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
