That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
