i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
