And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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