Ambien. No doubt about it.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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