The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
