it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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