Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Damn victory sex feels great
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
