Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My vagina is very pro this idea
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
