Texts From Last Night

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  (205): View more from Alabama

  One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.

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  (205): One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum. http://tfl.nu/g2t8
  Replies (18) Good night (1133) Bad night (3017)
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  (619): View more from California

  you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top

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  (619): you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top http://tfl.nu/edw1
  Replies (18) Good night (1077) Bad night (3058)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this

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  (304): enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this http://tfl.nu/89bx
  Replies (18) Good night (4051) Bad night (674)
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  (415): View more from California

  If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.

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  (415): If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition. http://tfl.nu/fwuo
  Replies (13) Good night (10063) Bad night (1193)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants

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  (815): the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants http://tfl.nu/kron
  Replies (6) Good night (4424) Bad night (1028)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.

  (1-706): View more from Georgia

  Where's it at?

  (706): View more from Georgia

  In your pants.

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  (706): We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now. (1-706): Where's it at? (706): In your pants. http://tfl.nu/w8ar
  Replies (19) Good night (7731) Bad night (1376)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".

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  (785): Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets". http://tfl.nu/227d
  Replies (16) Good night (1235) Bad night (4565)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade

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  (630): I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade http://tfl.nu/zmei
  Replies (22) Good night (4721) Bad night (1880)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??

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  (304): Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away?? http://tfl.nu/5x5i
  Replies (4) Good night (1757) Bad night (1239)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Sounds like sex on a twister board.

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...

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  (541): Sounds like sex on a twister board. (1-541): An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing... http://tfl.nu/ydi6
  Replies (2) Good night (1153) Bad night (442)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?

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  (503): Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them? http://tfl.nu/lznr
  Replies (9) Good night (1449) Bad night (514)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics

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  (304): The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics http://tfl.nu/2xhw
  Replies (5) Good night (525) Bad night (902)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  I can't even make a guess how that goes.

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  (405): No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved. (1-405): I can't even make a guess how that goes. http://tfl.nu/9wcc
  Replies (3) Good night (425) Bad night (451)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.

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  (315): Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all. http://tfl.nu/q4jp
  Replies (1) Good night (787) Bad night (335)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer

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  (210): I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer http://tfl.nu/7hi6
  Replies (2) Good night (286) Bad night (413)

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