Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(513): View more from Ohio

I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.

Fav 15 5724 1149
share tweet
(207): View more from Maine

hows the new call of duty?

(1-207): View more from Maine

I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.

Fav 78 5905 1365
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(317): View more from Indiana

my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive

Fav 31 6207 1721
share tweet
(435): View more from Utah

this will be a night to untag.

Fav 6 8185 1570
share tweet
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(978): View more from Massachusetts

I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety

Fav 7 2828 1349
share tweet
(940): View more from Texas

he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend

Fav 11 1110 3733
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(937): View more from Ohio

If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.

Fav 12 953 1302
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(202): View more from Washington, DC

still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong

Fav 5 605 749
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?

Fav 2 39 3
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT