Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen

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(614): Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen http://tfl.nu/x16d

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(678): View more from Georgia

Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.

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(678): Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth. http://tfl.nu/wet5

Replies (9) Good night (605) Bad night (3211) Order T-Shirt
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(979): View more from Texas

Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?

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(979): Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"? http://tfl.nu/w79j

Replies (148) Good night (5963) Bad night (1014) Order T-Shirt
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(716): View more from New York

I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount

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(716): I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount http://tfl.nu/p3jz

Replies (10) Good night (5158) Bad night (1059) Order T-Shirt
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(970): View more from Colorado

We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.

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(970): We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers. http://tfl.nu/cjb4

Replies (10) Good night (3576) Bad night (981) Order T-Shirt
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(443): View more from Maryland

I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected

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(443): I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected http://tfl.nu/8335

Replies (3) Good night (1401) Bad night (691) Order T-Shirt
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(802): View more from Vermont

Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.

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(802): Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties. http://tfl.nu/nqyr

Replies (9) Good night (2761) Bad night (484) Order T-Shirt
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(432): View more from Texas

Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??

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(432): Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips?? http://tfl.nu/qj3i

Replies (9) Good night (1152) Bad night (648) Order T-Shirt
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(248): View more from Michigan

Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.

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(248): Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents. http://tfl.nu/4qnq

Replies (6) Good night (2387) Bad night (529) Order T-Shirt
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(734): View more from Michigan

Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy

(734): View more from Michigan

Nevermind. Totally worth it.

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(734): Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy (734): Nevermind. Totally worth it. http://tfl.nu/cbwr

Replies (3) Good night (1162) Bad night (740)
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(+41): View more from Switzerland

How did she break his doorknob?

(1+41): View more from

That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.

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(+41): How did she break his doorknob? (1+41): That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought. http://tfl.nu/2qqq

Replies (4) Good night (1639) Bad night (378)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."

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(814): He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van." http://tfl.nu/71uy

Replies (5) Good night (1250) Bad night (373)
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(614): View more from Ohio

There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.

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(614): There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse. http://tfl.nu/wnun

Replies (4) Good night (1158) Bad night (335) Order T-Shirt
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(315): View more from New York

Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.

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(315): Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised. http://tfl.nu/8j6k

Replies (3) Good night (632) Bad night (234) Order T-Shirt
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away

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(401): Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away http://tfl.nu/kl70

Replies (1) Good night (417) Bad night (116) Order T-Shirt

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