I'm retarded. Again.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.