my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.