i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
