Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
