Have you finally orgasmed yet?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
