He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
