You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
