Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Less talking, more tequila
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
