Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
