I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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