i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
