So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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