just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
