just survived the first fart of the relationship.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
