the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
