bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
