so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
