God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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