Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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