I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize