and you said cock pushups were impossible
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
