we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
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Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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