Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
