My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
