cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
