i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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