TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
