I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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