I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
