You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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