I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
