Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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