I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
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And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
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You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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