Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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